Staying Connected: A Tool in the Toolbox

Welcome to Brevis Talk. The talks you are about to hear will be honest, revealing, and unfiltered. Join us as your host. Pastor Wayne Whiteside lifts the lid of silence and has conversations about mental illness and health in the church. The goal here is simple. It is to help someone along this journey of life who is struggling. It is to tell the truth to the unsuspecting, and it is to lighten the load of a fellow traveler. This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not intended to serve as medical advice or to replace consultation with your physician or mental health professional.

If you are experiencing a medical crisis, call 9 1 1 or go to the nearest Emergency Room. Now, here's your host, pastor Wayne.

Speaker 1 (42s): Well, greetings in the name of the Lord. It's Pastor Whiteside again with another brevis talk is we are talking about mental health and mental illness in the church. Today. We want to add another tool from the toolbox And, that is the tool of Staying, Connected, Staying Connected. Humans are wired to be socially connected. It has been shown time and time again that there is a correlation between being connected with others and health, physical and emotional health.

When you're depressed, you want to pull back and that's the very worst thing that you can do. Now, I understand that you're supposed to exercise, you're told to exercise. If you're depressed, it'll make you feel better, but you can't get motivated to exercise because you're depressed. I understand the dilemma, I understand the frustration, and so I am not speaking down to you. I am not preaching a, a fiery message to you, but I am telling you the truth.

Somewhere within your being, there has to be some resolve. Depression will make you very, very passive about your surroundings and your situation, but there must be a little bit of grittiness that bubbles forth from your person, and I would say fight tooth and nail or to have these tools in your toolbox, and one of them is to stay socially connected. Now, there are some people that think they're connected because they keep up with current events.

Others think that because they are interacting on Facebook or one of the other social media platforms that they are connected. That's not the type of connection I'm talking about. And you can be in a crowd and be very, very alone. You can absolutely be lonely in a crowd. I would encourage any and everyone to build social connections, family, friends, groups or clubs, and I would encourage those who are not depressed to do so.

Also, you never know when this ugly, ugly thing in life called depression will knock you off your feet and bludgeon you and knock you down. So everyone heed this warning and this wisdom, I believe to be connected. Again, we are wired to be connected as humans. One never knows what life will throw at you. And I have a confession. I didn't learn a lot of what I know today from my seminary training, but the best thing about seminary for me are the great friendships that I still have today, And, that has helped me immensely.

Being connected with people in the same vocation I am and have the same calling, social connection and purpose. Living a purposeless life is an empty existence. Find purpose in life. It can be found in so many areas. I pastored an elderly man who went to the nursing homes at least twice a week. What did he do?

Well, he visited and then he repaired wheelchairs. He had a tackle box that he kept various wheelchair parts in, so he kept the chairs in good shape, and he was so faithful to these visits and to this task, and he got a tremendous amount out of it. He had purpose in his life. I see people retire after a lifetime of working and they have no hobbies or social connections, and they do very, very poorly.

And they decline and they decline sometimes very quickly. In the small community that I am living in, there are old men who gather at various places, drink coffee and telltales and talk about current events. They are absolutely doing something here for their mental health. They may not be aware of it. It is a very, very good thing they're doing is they are socially connected each and every morning.

If you're a person who struggles with mental illness, you might consider asking someone to help you and keep you accountable in getting outside of what may be your island. And Staying, Connected. Ask a friend, say, listen, I, I trust you. I know you have. You have my good in mind. Would you just watch me and keep me connected? Keep me accountable about being connected.

And if you have such a friend like that, who will take that task seriously, then you are blessed. Blessed, blessed indeed. I had a friend who was badly injured. He stayed inside his house as he recovered, and he became very depressed. He's doing well now. What helped him? An old friend who is not a trained counselor, but he's a very wise person, he saw how his friend was declining, so he stopped by a couple of times a week and pressured his friend to get in his vehicle and ride with him.

They talked about a lot of things. They went places. They had meals or a cup of coffee at various places. My friend is doing quite well to this day and he attributes his success in going through this season of serious illness because of his friend who came by and just was really truly a friend and pressured him, if you will, to get out of the house and get outside the confines of the walls that he was staring at every day.

To this day, my friend will tell you, his old friend saved his life. Now, he was angry at first that he was being pushed to go somewhere, and then he noticed that he'd started looking forward to it. Sunday school classes, small study groups within the church, book clubs, garden clubs, civic clubs, on and on. I tell you to be connected, ba joiner, you have a hobby and you find people who are like-minded that have that same hobby and share it with you.

Join those groups. Spend time with those people. You'll learn from them concerning your hobby. They'll learn from you and everyone will be better because they've stayed connected. I know when I'm down, I don't want to interact with others. I can feel myself sliding. I just don't want to go out and I'll find every excuse under the sun not to go somewhere and I will just feel myself retreating from within. But I do know that if I go out and I am around people, I always feel much better.

It's getting there to that point. But I know when I'm on a slide, if I will take an honest look at myself and if I am sliding within myself so to speak, and becoming an island, I know that I'm moving in the wrong direction. And there have been times where I had to force myself to go somewhere or I did have a friend that gave me that gently needed nudge to go ahead and leave the house and get among people.

Hopefully you are around people who can laugh and not be so serious all the time. If you are always around cynical, negative people, then that sometimes resembles a job. It seems to be a task to be around those people. And there are no real pluses in being around acidic people. Humans don't do well as islands. God wired us to be and stay connected. I hope you are doing that.

It might be difficult to stay connected with others, but the payoff is more than worth it. And Staying Connected, well that's another tool in the toolbox,

Speaker 0 (9m 49s): And, that concludes our broadcast today. Please don't forget to subscribe to the podcast through Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Plus, check us out at our Facebook page or brevistalk.com and take a look at our blog and remember, be kind. Always be kind.